choices

Spent so much money on things that i didn't expect to get. Hand moisturizer, face mask, hair shampoo & conditional, a box of Meiji biscuit and last but not least, a packet of Marks and Spencer chocolate caramel. Fortunately, John Little sales made me feel better after seeing the 20% off on the receipt. But really, just all these little things that i bought is enough to make me happy, like a little girl content with her lollipop.Screw the shopping sprees on clothes because I'm so tight up lately. I'm glad Calvell would remind me and stop all these temptations that i have whenever i can't resist.

I am sooooo excited now, tomorrow is job training. I really hope everything goes smoothly, as in, you know... i hate stress, pressure from boss, it makes me dread work and i always end up committing irresponsible acts. Bless that this will be the ideal job for a permanent part time and I can depend on this job income for the rest of the year, or the rest of polytechnic years. And if it does, i know who to thank. (:

I feel so ugly, i don't have straight set of teeth, my hair is like burnt dried wheat grass, my skin is like fried tofu skin. Face is worst, uneven skin tone, large pores and T-zone always give me problems. I just feel so ugly and i don't feel confident at all. Fancy picking a job that states beauty consultant, no doubt that I'll get complains about me being "beauty" consultant from customers. I think genie wouldn't even want to grant me my wish, because I'm too awful to look at. So what if they say, what's more important is the inner beauty, i don't possess them too.

I hate myself for being paranoid, I always doubt Calvell and I know I shouldn't but it just happens, uncontrollably. This job really came at the right time, at least, I won't have so much time to doubt and acting like I'm suffering from schizophrenia. He'll be away for two days, class chalet. It's hard for me, we're almost 24/7 all the time, but I'll try. No... i mean... i must try. I hope he doesn't call or i won't be able to take it. I just want to learn to be independent in this relationship, i really want to. Anyway, he's really sweet these 2 days, i can tell. And the highly possible reason is, he wants me to feel loved before he head for chalet, i know.

I just need to earn a lot of money, so i can get braces, do something to my hair, face/body treatments and perhaps I'll look better. WORK WORK WORK.
I really need to jiayou (^o^)v