Dear God...

I am...
irresponsible
selfish
lazy
a schizophrenia victim
unmotivated
stubborn

and if i should use one sentence to describe myself.... that will be...

"A bottle of expired pasta sauce found in a rubbish chute, even Remy's brother who practically eats anything would shun away when he sees this bottle of pasta sauce."

So tell me, what's left of me?

God has been gracious and kind to give me so many chances to repent and learn from my mistakes, but i never once learn. I abused all his benevolent love towards me. When will i ever learn, climb out from this miserable pit hole that I've fictitiously invented. But looking from another view, having blogging down all these is kind of like reflecting-the first step to learn. I'm not so sure... i think, reflect a lot but always... no actions done. or to say... i give up easily? Here, just 3 days before my Nineteen birthday: "God, will you please, give me just one last chance...Ill be good..." -Closes her eyes, swallow hard, tears roll down both side of her cheeks.

To someone: "Please stand by me, be with me, this may not be the lowest point of my life but i sure need all your love and support..."
-wipe her tears away as she hits the 'publish post' button.