BBQ, National Day, REST DAY.

Hello patriots.
Its twelve midnight now and a very Happy Birthday to SINGAPORE and Brandon. I think he's damn fed up with the cake smashed on his face earlier on during my class BBQ session. I was fast enough to pick out the chocolate decoration and ate it before the cake was flatten on his face. Seeing the cake smashed into his face like that does make me, this financial minister's heart bleed a little. The left over 30 over dollars, i don't think it'll be enough to order pizza for the class another day. The BBQ was relatively fun though, maybe it would have been more fun if i wasn't the one buying ingredients, preparing and cleaning. hahha, but i don't know... it feels awkward if i don't do anything, and that explains why i'm a Virgo. I think my biceps and the masculine side of me scares the class girls off, haha.

And and, i so feel like dancing after wiing taught us a few dance stunts, she tried carrying me and lifting me up, it was damn cool. Remember in my earlier post? I mentioned if i can choose my talent, i want to be a contemporary dancer. But wait...why do i keep thinking about stuffs that is not realistic for me? Yong's house is really cosy, the girls managed to ransack his house. His house is certainly a nice place to snuggle in during cold weather, the wall was almost filled with music albums, a nice bath tub in the master bedroom with aromatherapy. I wouldn't mind living alone if i had that much of money to purchase a unit. Luckily Cynthia was around, she is so very loud and enthusiastic which liven up the atmosphere, Ben, Shaun and Sheng too were the ones making us laugh really hard.

Shaun mentioned something that made me ponder quite a bit, he commented on me... "you are not a good girlfriend, i wonder how your boyfriend stands you." I know he meant it in a jokingly manner because i refuse to help him cook his sambal fish, but OIE, i did help in the end. Anyway, that's not the point, what makes me ponder, well perhaps reflect, is the part if i have really been a good girlfriend. And the answer is obviously no. I can be really sensitive when it comes to relationship, you wouldn't want to know to what extreme (I'm not gonna tell anyway, you guys will go oh my god, she's such a bitch), and i do feel guilty towards boyfriend. I'm terribly sorry. I just want to say, i can't help it, I'm totally not being myself when I'm sensitive. I keep thinking its the phobia that Nadhir left, that keeps me feeling this way but, maybe it's just an excuse. I don't know if its such a good idea to reveal so much personal thoughts in virtual reality and i don't feel comfortable doing this so I'm just gonna end it by saying, I'm sorry Calvell and thank you so much for your patience.

I have been thinking a lot lately and i don't feel good at all. Seriously, i just hope i can really be myself back again (not that i've been pretending), just you know... urghs... never mind. Good day ahead everyone. (:

Trust-where have I lost that?