learning to breathe

Isn’t it weird how you could smile and laugh with your friends but deep down no one knows it was all pretence. It’s simply because you are feeling oh so lonely and scared.
I felt that way, if you ask me.

His words, his actions are inflicting more hurt upon me. Visage of him appears everywhere, when I woke up, bathe, I’m alone or before sleep. And then there was the lusting memories that instantly made me cry. Not much, but enough to kill.

Where were all the promises that was once made, it no longer holds its importance just because all has permanently changed? It dawns on me that you and you alone can make me fall.

Seeing him already moved on makes me feel so small and I felt that I was never special. I feel disconnected inside, because his eyes don’t hold what they used to, when they’re looking at me. Or were they even looking at me?

What exactly happened between us? I know I can never fathom it.

I concede.

I’m dying to breathe in these abundant skies, feeling awake and alive.