hello, tears!

I cried.
I’m still struggling hard over the break up.
The cupboard left untouched for months, I don’t know how to deal with my emotions if I ever open that cupboard full of things related to him.

I cried, because I opened it today.
I felt that I have to face it, the reality that he’s gone. I have to go through this process call forgetting. The wrapper of the very first lollipop that he bought, I still keep. The tag of the first gift he bought. Our very own coloring book. The bottle of saga seeds he collected when he was at a camp. Pacifier, toys, letters, cards, candles, kerbaya etc… and the most important creature, the band that ties the both of us, baby pooh. Not a lot but it’s certainly enough to make me recall most of the events that happened for the past 2 years. Can I throw it away?

I cried, because Mp3 kept playing our songs.

I cried simply because I didn’t know I actually loved him so much, so much. And he doesn’t know. Why is it that I still can’t put him down when it’s obviously clear that he already moved on, happily. Today, it would have been 1 yr and 8 months if it didn’t end. Sometimes I detest myself for having such good memory, sigh.

I cried. Loudly.
Because I no longer feel protected, loved. No longer him to hold my hands when I’m crossing the road, no one to watch Spongbob Squarepants with me. Sometimes in the middle of the night, I even woke up from loneliness.

I want to forget. –wiping away her tears
I want to be able to smile too.
Hello, I’m a happy girl again.
Ling Hui, go go jia you!

scrams off to happy rd. ROARS!
yes if you realise, its actually my second entry.
im really mentally drained now. goodnight!